History Of Drums

My Grandfather once told me that if it wasnt for him drums wouldnt exist.. I cant possibly believe its true but looking at his facial expression that time i just couldnt resist his true innocent face... Yeah that was him with my girlfriend...he said he was trying to save her from drowning..

anyway...he created the drums back in 1902 when he was literally young and not so horny yet... It first started when his mom try to get him out from the tummy by herself since his dad died after cumming...without any help, his mother used her own hands and stuffed one of her own hand in the vagina to get granddad's head..after a few days the mother felt his head and began to pull as hard as she can...she was screaming as loud as fuck until i can hear it even after it happened few decades ago....she died after that since the thing she pulled wasnt my grandfather's head but it was actually her intestine..dumb bitch...anyway my grandfather got out by himself through the stomach by using scissors he invented while in the tummy by using his dad's cum and some aluminium cans which i dont know how the hell cans entered the stomach....Its Him :) *taken from flickr*

After living by himself for a few years.....( i dont know how he raised himself, he just dont wanna tell me ) He got bored and crafted some of his mom's bones into drumsticks..

Few years later, he dont know what to do with the sticks and began starting to invent things to hit it with the sticks..first he used him mom's belly and stuffed the stomach with hydrocholic enyzmizine hydrogen and began hitting it...it sounded so good that my grandfather loved it and hunted another human to make double stomach ....he began calling the stomach bass since it sounded deep...

    After performing on some concerts that had a lot of crowds including three dogs , four nashmuddeyns ( extinct after grandfather's horrible music ) and dozens of humans..many fans requested him to add some more instruments that has different sounds that could possible relate to the double bass...

     He began looking for some more stomaches that could produce a higher sound....he tried the cow stomach but it sounded like a cowbell...he tried the snake's stomach but it sounded like a rattle snake.. ( -.-' ) he tried najmuddin's stomach but it sounded too loud that all the food in africa were gone....finally he used the cat's tummy and it sounded like a snare..with some wires attached in the asshole...

    Not satisfied...he said "should you masturbate till death, thou shall you produce more peace" i didnt really get it but it sounded inspiring to me...he killed 3 of his fans which are the dogs and used their stomach to ....you know...and began calling them tom toms...the floor tom actually was taken by naj's tummy  but since it was too big he took only 0.034% of it..

     Still not satisfied...he began to kill his pride and actually modified his body so he might get some DNA to be Specified...While the subject was not possible, he retardedly fucked his bubble and stretched some purple,from his table,and tend to mumble,while he scratch his back for some label..for his pebble.

     And thats how he created the crash,ride,cymbals, and hi hats...He actually invented china after hearing some chinese people giving speech about copying while the speech was actually copied from the first president that asked them to copy. While they copy, I drink some "kopi" to release my poopy. After many performance with the Black Sabbath , AC/DC and some other bands that died because of him,he became popular and his instrument was copied by the chinese and named it Chung-Kai. 

    My grandfather began creating drums after that incident and also became the first legendary drummer, or chung-kai..er...and made the best drum solo in 1967, or to chinese chung-kai solo... in ni hao kua mai.. he was one of the best musician and one of the most creative for inventing a drum kit...Now drum kits are made by wood and not stomach to avoid extinction.

im watching porn while doing this so dont bother it its rubbish...